Today is Day 19 in the series 31 days to Loving Sensory Parenting. You can read the entire series here.
Sometimes my view gets a little clouded in parenting. The meltdowns take over. The stress of it all not to mention the exhaustion. Frustration sets in and you just want your child to do the things they need to do to function in life. Wear pants when it’s cold, put shoes on and brush their teeth.
We see the “behavior” and we miss the child. We miss the sensory cues and the red flags. We miss moments where our child needs us most. Our child needs us to take our time helping them find pants that feel just right and understanding that their shoes need to be tight.
The reality is that in our child’s heart they are doing their best. They doing know how to process the world and they are trying their best to keep it together. They don’t mean to be challenging. They don’t want to have challenges with clothing and doing daily activities.
Most of all, we need to see our child. REALLY see. Beyond behavior, beyond sensory. We need to see their heart. Miss Sensory is very sensitive and when I lose my patience I see her crushed inside. Even though she’s a sassy little thing and she puts on a good front, I see her heart. She’ll often get to the point of saying, “But Mom, I was just trying to…”
And that’s where I realize that I stopped seeing her and only saw the behavior. This change in perspective takes me from a frustrated frazzled mom to a mom full of compassion and understanding. It fills my heart with more joy than I can imagine when I get it right. It reminds me that I can do this successfully, I can connect with her and I can look beyond the “behavior.”